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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 165

Willem de Kooning

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.


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Kahlil Gibran

Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes.


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Persian Proverb

He who has been bitten by a snake fears a piece of string.


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H.L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.


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Samuel Johnson

Men are wise in proportion not to their experience but to their capacity for experience.


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William Allen White

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.


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Johann von Goethe

One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few reasonable words.


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George W. Bush, Klein, J. (2004). The perils of a righteous president. Time, May 17: 25.

God is not on the side of any nation, yet we know He is on the side of justice. Our finest moments as a nation have come when we faithfully served the cause of justice for our own citizens, and for the people of other lands.


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Mark Twain

His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere.


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Helen Keller

Many persons have the wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.


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Christian Nestell

The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it.


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Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.



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