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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Amusing Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 157

Signs

Tracy I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse Graham I suppose it would depend on the context. Tracy How about John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara Graham It's a curse. Tracy Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.


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Terence, Andria

Moderation in all things.


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Harry S Truman

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.


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Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Science and Scientism"

Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.


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Thomas Alva Edison

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.


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Anais Nin

Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back; a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.


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David Hume

It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.


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Leonardo da Vinci, The Notebooks

Intellectual passion dries out sensuality.


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Jean-Paul Sartre

We do not know what we want and yet we are responsible for what we are - that is the fact.


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Charles Monroe Schultz

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right


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William Shakespeare

A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain.


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Airplane

Steve McCroskey Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue



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