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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 139
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Gaius Plinius Secundus, ("The Elder") (23-79)
This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man.
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Kurt Vonnegut, "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
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Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
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Agnes Repplier
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization.
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Gene Oliver, Life and the Artistry of Change
My past is my wisdom to use today. . . my future is my wisdom yet to experience. Be in the present because that is where life resides.
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John A. Rassias
Language is a living, kicking, growing, flitting, evolving reality, and the teacher should spontaneously reflect its vibrant and protean qualities.
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Agatha Christie
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
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Henry David Thoreau
I derive no pleasure from talking with a young woman simply because she has regular features.
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Dan Quayle
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.
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Anne Frank
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
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Barbra Streisand
A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.
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