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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 151
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Henry Thomas Buckle
If you can impress any man with an absorbing conviction of the supreme importance of some moral or religious doctrine if you can make him believe that those who reject that doctrine are doomed to eternal perdition if you then give that man power, and by means of his ignorance blind him to the ulterior consequences of his own act,-he will infallibly persecute those who deny his doctrine.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I 'swarm about' to protect my nest of chocolate eggs.
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Adlai Ewing Stevenson
What do I believe As an American I believe in generosity, in liberty, in the rights of man. These are social and political faiths that are part of me, as they are, I suppose, part of all of us. Such beliefs are easy to express. But part of me too is my relation to all life, my religion. And this is not so easy to talk about. Religious experience is highly intimate and, for me, ready words are not at hand.
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Edmond de Goncourt
A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.
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Hubert H. Humphrey
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
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Pierre Corneille
He who allows himself to be insulted, deserves to be.
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J. Arthur Thomson
The most powerful factors in the world are clear ideas in the minds of energetic men of good will.
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Elbert Hubbard
Get happiness out of your work or you may never know what happiness is.
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Publilius Syrus
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
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Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Nathaniel Macon, January 12, 1819
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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George Santayana
It takes a wonderful brain and exquisite senses to produce a few stupid ideas.
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Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891
It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art.
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