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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 125
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Anatole France
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.
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Joseph Conrad
I don't like work... but I like what is in work -- the chance to find yourself. Your own reality -- for yourself, not for others -- which no other man can ever know.
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John Maynard Keynes
The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that carries any reward.
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Theodore Harold White
Whether a man is burdened by power or enjoys power whether he is trapped by responsibility or made free by it whether he is moved by other people and outer forces or moves them -- this is of the essence of leadership.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn't have the right answers, mister, you'd be peeling potatoes or changing the latrine. Hey, wait. I wasn't in the army. Then who WAS that guy
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Carl Polloi
Unlike those who pretend to be immaculate, fallen angels are usually more intriguing because their earthliness is heavenly.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others with out getting a few drops on yourself.
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Peter James, Ghosts of the Queen Mary
The true skeptic will never believe you no matter how much proof you offer him. The true believer does not need it.
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Jack Holland
Gossip is always a personal confession of malice or imbecility; it is a low, frivolous, and too often a dirty business. There are neighborhoods where it rages like a pest; churches are split in pieces by it, and neighbor made enemies for life. Let the young avoid or cure it while they may.
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Cato the Elder, On Agriculture
Even though work stops, expenses run on.
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Brendan Francis
If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.
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Aesop
It is easy to despise what you cannot get.
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