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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 200
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Yasutani Roshi
The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.
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Isaac Asimov
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Mike Royko, columnist
Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.
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Jules Feiffer
Getting out of bed in the morning is an act of false confidence.
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Thomas Hobbes
Leisure is the mother of philosophy.
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Albert Einstein, In a letter to Max Born, 1926
At any rate, I am convinced that He God does not play dice.
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Sir Walter Scott, The Betrothed
Too much rest is rust.
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Robert Cecil
Examples is more forcible than precept. People look at my six days in the week to see what I mean on the seventh.
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Billy Joel
It's okay if you mess up. You should give yourself a break.
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Mark Twain
When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad.
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Eubie
Never trust anyone who wants what you've got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.
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Po Bronson
As I get older, I've learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things.
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