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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 26
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Steven Wright
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
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Cyril Connolly
What grape to keep its place in the sun, taught our ancestors to make wine?
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Ambrose Bierce
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum
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George Washington Carver
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.
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Thomas Carlyle
The true university of these days is a collection of books.
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Aristotle
Piety requires us to honor truth above our friends.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
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George Herbert Walker Bush
The greatest gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love. As a child wanders and strays, finding his bearings, he needs a sense of absolute love from a parent. There's nothing wrong with tough love, as long as the love is unconditional.
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Leo Tolstoy
Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
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Anon.
Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
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Johann von Goethe
I call architecture frozen music.
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William Shakespeare
So may he rest, his faults lie gently on him
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