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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 187
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Italian Proverb
To a quick question, give a slow answer.
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Marquis de Sade
We are no guiltier in following the primative impulses that govern us than is the Nile for her floods or the sea for her waves.
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Chuang-tzu
I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
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Marcus Aurelius
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
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Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
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Lawrence Peter Berra
You can observe a lot just by watching.
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Robert Ingersoll, The Philosophy of Ingersoll (1906), "Fragments"
There is no slavery but ignorance.
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Virginia
One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.
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William Shakespeare
Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.
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Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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Demosthenes
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
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Bertrand Russell
When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others. It is much more nearly certain that we are assembled here tonight than it is that this or that political party is in the right. Certainly there are degrees of certainty, and one should be very careful to emphasize that fact, because otherwise one is landed in an utter skepticism, and complete skepticism would, of course, be totally barren and completely useless.
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