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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 190
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Leroy Robert Satchel Paige
Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
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H.L. Mencken
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
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George S. Patton
A good plan violently executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.
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Sitting Bull
What treaty have the Sioux made with the white man that we have broken Not one. What treaty have the white man ever made with us that they have kept Not one. When I was a boy the Sioux owned the world the sun rose and set on their land they sent ten thousand men to battle. Where are the warriors today Who slew them Where are our lands Who owns them....What law have I broken Is it wrong for me to love my own Is it wicked for me because my skin is red Because I am a Sioux because I was born where my father lived because I would die for my people and my country
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William Arthur Ward
Wise are they who have learned these truths Trouble is temporary. Time is tonic. Tribulation is a test tube.
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Proverbs 12:19, The King James Bible
The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.
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Michel de Montaigne
Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
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Charles Horton Cooley
Prudence and compromise are necessary means, but every man should have an impudent end which he will not compromise.
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Frank Herbert
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future.
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Stephen Jobs
Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected.
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Robert G. Ingersoll
There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences.
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Buzz Aldrin
Houston, Tranquility Base here. The eagle has landed.
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