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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 169
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Lithuanian Proverb
God gave teeth He will give bread.
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Roosevelt, Eleanor
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
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Cicero
What we call pleasure, and rightly so is the absence of all pain.
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Gore Vidal
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.
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Willie Nelson
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
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Dr. Robert Schuller
Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but only God can count the number of apples in a seed.
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Will Moss
Love is not blind-It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
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Ronald Graham, "Rudiments of Ramsey Theory"
We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is danger of no confusion.
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Adel Bestavros
Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith.
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Baltasar Gracian
He that can live alone resembles the brute beast in nothing, the sage in much, and God in everything.
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Penn Jillette, in a Compuserve chat
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them.
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Samuel Butler
Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
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