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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 129
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Leonardo DaVinci
You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand.
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Vince Lombardi, Lombardi Winning is the only thing (by Jerry Kramer)
Fatigue makes cowards of us all.
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Gerald R. Ford
It's the quality of the ordinary, the straight, the square, that accounts for the great stability and success of our nation. It's a quality to be proud of. But it's a quality that many people seem to have neglected.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
'Good luck, Mr President,' I said to him. 'As I told you when I named you, I know the country is going to be in good hands with you in the Oval Office.'
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Christopher Darlington Morley
If we all discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to tell them that they loved them.
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Arab Proverb
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
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Henry Ford
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.
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Fairfield Osborne
We do not live to extenuate the miseries of the past nor to accept as incurable those of the present.
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Hannah Whitall Smith, 1902
The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.
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Godfather, The
Sonny Hey, whataya gonna do, nice college boy, eh Didn't want to get mixed up in the Family business, huh Now you wanna gun down a police captain. Why Because he slapped ya in the face a little bit Hah What do you think this is the Army, where you shoot 'em a mile away You've gotta get up close like this and bada-bing. you blow their brains all over your nice Ivy League suit.
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Thomas Carlyle
If Jesus Christ were to come today people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
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Leonardo Da Vinci
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings a happy death.
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