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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Quotations from Famous People - 41
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Ian Fleming
Bond. James Bond.
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Joel Rosenberg
I find that we all get more legendary as time goes by. 'Legend' means, basically, 'bullshit.'
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Andrew Schneider
She gave me more than just a sweater vest that night. She gave me all this. Nothing. She gave me nothing. That's what I need. No phone book, no Game Boy, no pasta maker, TV Guide. Nowhere to go, nothing to do.
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Arnold Palmer
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
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Martin Terman
In the Norse mythology Loki originally was on the side of the rest of the gods, helping them once or twice using a particularly nast forms of trickery. He was a cunning negotiator with a talent for technicalities. He was sort of the Norse equivalent of a lawyer, no doubt the reason they tied him down in a pit dripping acidic venom on him.
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Gretel Ehrlich
Walking is also an ambulation of mind.
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George Eliot, Felix Holt, the Radical, 1866
The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
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Thomas Aquinas
The highest manifestation of life consists in this: that a being governs its own actions. A thing which is always subject to the direction of another is somewhat of a dead thing.
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Mitchell Burgess
If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection. It's a time of year when the leaves are down and the harvest is in and the perennials are gone. Mother Earth just closed up the drapes on another year and it's time to reflect on what's come before.
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from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (Translation by Edward Fitzgerald)
You know, my Friends, with what a brave Carouse I made a Second Marriage in my house;
Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed,
And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.
For Is and Is-not though with Rule and Line
And Up-and-down by Logic I define,
Of all that one should care to fathom, I
Was never deep in anything but - Wine.
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H.L. Mencken
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
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Denis Diderot
Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.
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