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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 40
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Man is not born to solve the problem of the universe, but to find out what he has to do; and to restrain himself within the limits of his comprehension.
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Andre Agassi
What makes something special is not just what you have to gain, but what you feel there is to lose.
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John Barrymore
Die I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
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Dan Quayle, 4/11/91 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
The U.S. victory in Gulf war was a stirring victory for the forces of aggression.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
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Joe Keenan
There are, however, people in this world who seldom pick up a newspaper, people who, when watching television, sneer in displeasure and change channels at the first glimpse of an anchorperson. While such willfully uninformed citizens are rare, emerging from seclusion only to serve on juries in trials of great national significance, they do exist.
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W. B. Yeats
But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.
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Robert J. Ringer
Reality isn't the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.
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Euripides
Circumstances rule men and not men rule circumstances.
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Eva Young
To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.
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Greek Proverb
First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.
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Paul Sherer
They crucified Jesus not because they disliked what he said, but because they couldn't take it
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