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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Quotations from Famous People - 29
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Voltaire
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.
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Matthew Henry
Knowledge is vain and fruitless which is not reduced to practice.
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Maxim Gorky
One has to be able to count if only so that at fifty one doesn't marry a girl of twenty.
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Johnson
The supreme end of education is expert discernment in all things--the power to tell the good from the bad, the genuine from the counterfeit, and to prefer the good and the genuine to the bad and the counterfeit.
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William Wordsworth
What though the radiance which was once so bright Be not forever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower Strength in what remains behind, In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be, In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of Human suffering, In the faith that looks through death In years that bring philophic mind.
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Andr Gide
In order to be utterly happy the only thing necessary is to refrain from comparing this moment with other moments in the past, which I often did not fully enjoy because I was comparing them with other moments of the future.
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J. B. Yeats
Personality is born out of pain. It is the fire shut up in the flint.
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Dianne Hales
Put duties aside at least an hour before bed and perform soothing, quiet activities that will help you relax.
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Charles Baudelaire
It is necessary to work, if not from inclination, at least from despair. Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself.
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Galileo Galilei
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
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Donald H. Rumsfeld
Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - - the ones we don't know we don't know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
One thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.
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