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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 174
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Mark Twain
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
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Christina Montano
You can't put a Band-Aid on every boo-boo you've made some just need time to heal...
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John Beecher
Strength is a matter of the made-up mind.
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Fritjof Capra
During these periods of relaxation after concentrated intellectual activity, the intuitive mind seems to take over and can produce the sudden clarifying insights which give so much joy and delight.
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Voltaire
Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.
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Stephen Butler Leacock
It may be that those who do most, dream most.
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D. H. Lawrence
One watches them on the seashore, all the people, and there is something pathetic, almost wistful in them, as if they wished their lives did not add up to this scaly nullity of possession, but as if they could not escape. It is a dragon that has devoured us all: these obscene, scaly houses, this insatiable struggle and desire to possess, to possess always and in spite of everything, this need to be an owner, lest one be owned. It is too hideous and nauseating. Owners and owned, they are like the two sides of a ghastly disease. One feels a sort of madness come over one, as if the world had become hell. But it is only superimposed: it is only a temporary disease. It can be cleaned away.
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Mother Theresa
The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
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Chinese Proverb
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
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Titus Maccius Plautus
A word to the wise is enough.
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Pamela Ribon
When something that honest is said it usually needs a few minutes of silence to dissipate.
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Zeno
The reason we have two ears and only one mouth, is that we may hear more and speak less.
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