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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 171
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Homer Simpson
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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William Shakespeare
For he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother tomorrow.
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William Shakespeare
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
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Mel Brooks
Presidents don't do it to their wives. They do it to their country.
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Lauren Bacall
Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
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Josephine Tey
Lack of education is an extraordinary handicap when one is being offensive.
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Hannah Arendt
Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.
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Albert Einstein
No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right a single experiment can prove me wrong.
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James A. Garfield
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.
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Golda Meir
Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either.
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Jerry Coleman
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
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Alan Alda
Laugh at yourself, but don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.
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