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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 25
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Joe Moore
If you want to make certain a job gets done, give it to somebody who is really busy. They'll have their secretary do it.
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William Orville Douglas
The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
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Ernest Hemingway
Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports. . . all others are games.
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Stuart Stevens
Pride is a powerful narcotic, but it doesn't do much for the auto-immune system.
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W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
We are never deceived we deceive ourselves.
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George Bernard Shaw
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.
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John Ruskin
There is hardly anything in the world that some man can't make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.
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Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
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Henry David Thoreau
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought , and attended to my answer.
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Saint Augustine
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
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Mrs. Patrick Campbell
Does it really matter what these affectionate people do-- so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!
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