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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Quotations from Famous People - 25

Joe Moore

If you want to make certain a job gets done, give it to somebody who is really busy. They'll have their secretary do it.


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William Orville Douglas

The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.


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Ernest Hemingway

Auto racing, bull fighting, and mountain climbing are the only real sports. . . all others are games.


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Stuart Stevens

Pride is a powerful narcotic, but it doesn't do much for the auto-immune system.


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W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.


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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are never deceived we deceive ourselves.


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George Bernard Shaw

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.


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John Ruskin

There is hardly anything in the world that some man can't make a little worse and sell a little cheaper, and the people who consider price only are this man's lawful prey.


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Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.


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Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought , and attended to my answer.


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Saint Augustine

Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.


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Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Does it really matter what these affectionate people do-- so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!



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