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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 130
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Matrix, The
Agent Smith I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure.
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Henry David Thoreau
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
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Christopher Paolini, Author of Eragon and Eldest. Quote from Eragon.
Many people have died for their beliefs… The real courage is living and suffering for what you believe.
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William F. Claire
I dream of wayward gulls and all landless lovers, rare moments of winter sun, peace, privacy, for everyone.
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George Bernard Shaw
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
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Achilles, Euripides, Iphigenia in Aulis 955
What is a seer? A man who with luck tells the truth sometimes, with frequent falsehoods, but when his luck deserts him, collapses then and there.
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J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord Of the Rings, Book Four, Chapter One
Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.
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Robin Sharma, The Saint The Surfer and the CEO
it’s when the sun shines the brightest that our shadows appear the biggest.
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Samuel McChord Crothers, The Gentle Reader
The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
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B. J. Gupta
Keep controlling morality of others. Yours will be automatically taken care of.
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H. L. Mencken
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
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Theodor Wiesengrund Adorno
Let us talk sense to the American people. Let us tell them the truth, that there are not gains without pains.
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