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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 179
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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we shall find something new.
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Calvin Coolidge
Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still, nine cases out of ten someone will intercept it before it reaches you.
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Michael Cibenko
One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.
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Bill Veeck
I have discovered, in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.
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Franklin D. Roosevelt
N.B. Fear itself. See also H. D. Thoreau.
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Arnold Glasgow
Make your life a mission - not an intermission.
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Erma Bombeck
... it's simply wrong to always order kids to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting.
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John Berger
We can become anything. That is why injustice is impossible here. There may be the accident of birth, there is no accident of death. Nothing forces us to remain what we were.
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Oprah Winfrey
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.
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Doctor Who
According to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly.
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Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Emotions"
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
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Samuel Johnson
Round numbers are always false.
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