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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 184
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William Shakespeare
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice take each man's censure but reserve thy judgement.
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Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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Jeremy Taylor
No sin is small.
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Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts (1931) "Age and Death"
I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is not enough to have knowledge, one must also apply it. It is not enough to have wishes, one must also accomplish.
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Naguib Mahfouz
Happy is he who can give himself up.
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Les Brown
We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live our dreams.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
Get a good night's sleep and don't bug anybody without asking me. (To re-election campaign manager Clark MacGregor)
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Black Elk
Continuous effort--not strength or intelligence--is the key to unlocking our potential.
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Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
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Cicero
Nature herself makes the wise man rich.
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Sophia Loren
Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.
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