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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 155
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Spotted Tail (Sioux Indian)
My friends, your people have both intellect and heart; you use these to consider in what way you can do the best to live.
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George A. Dorsey
The more you use your brain, the more brain you will have to use.
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Author Unknown
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith.
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Henry David Thoreau
Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
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Unknown
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.
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Terence
Moderation in all things.
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Helen Hayes
From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings.
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A. M. Rosenthal
If you don't have a sensation of apprehension when you set out to find a story and a swagger when you sit down to write it, you are in the wrong business.
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Alexander Chase
To understand is to forgive, even oneself.
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Democritus
The pride of youth is in strength and beauty, the pride of old age is in discretion.
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Dan Quayle
When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.
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Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America, author Alexis de Tocqueville
The Americans combine the notions of Christianity and of liberty so intimately in their minds, that it is impossible to make them conceive the one without the other.
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