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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Funny Quotes - 162
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Laurence J. Peter
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
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Gilda Radner
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
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Jerry Coleman
The final score after eight innings is Giants '3
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William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", Act 2 scene 2
The law hath not been dead, though it hath slept.
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Jean Kerr
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
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Honore\' de Balzac
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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Publilius Syrus
We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have.
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King Farouk of Egypt
The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left--the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds.
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Arthur C. Clarke, Technology and the Future
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.
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Homer
Among all men on the earth bards have a share of honor and reverence, because the muse has taught them songs and loves the race of bards.
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Charles Baudelaire
There exist only three beings worthy of respect the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create.
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Max Beerbohm
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
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