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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Funny Quotes - 183
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Sir Winston Churchill
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
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Jay Leno
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people they're just acquaintances.
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Voltaire
When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.
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Jimmy Carter
We live in a time of transition, an uneasy era which is likely to endure for the rest of this century. During the period we may be tempted to abandon some of the time-honored principles and commitments which have been proven during the difficult times of past generations. We must never yield to this temptation. Our American values are not luxuries, but necessities - not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself.
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Samuel Smiles
An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing.
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G. K. Chesterton
If a rhinoceros were to enter this resteraunt now, there is no denying he would have great power here. But I would be the first to rise and assure him that he had no authority whatever.
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Charles Dudley Warner
Perhaps nobody ever accomplishes all that he feels lies in him to do but nearly every one who tries his power touches the walls of his being.
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Christina G. Rossetti
Spring is when life's alive in everything.
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Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out of the American Bar Association
Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is like getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month-Club.
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Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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Sir Arthur Eddington
If an army of monkeys were strumming on typewriters, they might write all the books in the British Museum.
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John Updike
Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
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