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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Funny Quotes - 166
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Thomas Jefferson
An association of men who will not quarrel with one another is a thing which has never yet existed, from the greatest confederacy of nations down to a town meeting or a vestry.
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Barbara Tober
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
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Jeff Melvoin
First I thought it was numbness, shock. The inability to believe that a just God could allow someone to destroy a gold mine of prehistoric knowledge for a year's worth of Salisbury steak...Life is a mystery. One man's life- altering experience is another man's tenderloin.
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Ann Landers
All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.
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Gerald W. Grummet
While intelligent people can often simplify the complex, a fool is more likely to complicate the simple.
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Japanese Proverb
Art is the illusion of spontaneity.
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Anthony D\'Angelo
You don't have to hold a position in order to be a leader.
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Hannah Moore
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
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Helen Hayes
There's a little vanity chair that Charlie gave me the first Christmas we knew each other. I'll not be parting with that, nor our bed-the four-poster-I'll be needing that to die in.
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George Bernard Shaw
Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.
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Arnold Palmer
I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.
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Henry David Thoreau
How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we may go and meet their ideal cousins.
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