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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Funny Quotes - 164
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Bob Wilkin
Because of Christ's resurrection--and His guarantee that He will resurrect all who believe in Him--we are the most fortunate, the most blest people on the planet Our faith is effective, we are not in our sins, our departed loved ones are with the Lord, and the labor we do for Him is not in vain.
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George Herbert
Woe be to him that reads but one book.
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Cato the Elder
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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David K. Shipler
The Holocaust never quite leaves Israeli Jews alone. Arabs use it against them and they use it against Arabs. Jews use it against other Jews. Even the president of the United States, it seems, can use it against the prime minister of Israel.
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Michel de Montaigne
When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind.
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Margaret Cho, weblog, 10-30-03
I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.
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William Shakespeare
Frailty, thy name is woman
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Albert Einstein
One should guard against preaching to young people success in the customary form as the main aim in life. The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result, and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community.
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Dodie Smith
The family-that dear octopus from whese tentacles we never quite escape nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.
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Robert F. Goheen
In the realm of ideas it is better to let the mind sally forth, even if some precious preconceptions suffer a mauling.
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Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.
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