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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Funny Quotes - 173
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Art Spander
The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.
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Edward Everett Hale
Never bear more than one trouble at a time. Some people bear three kinds - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.
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Mary Poppins
Close your mouth, Michael; we are not a codfish.
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Unknown
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
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John Kenneth Galbraith
Technology means the systematic application of scientific or other organized knowledge to practical tasks.
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George Bernard Shaw
No man fully capable of his own language ever masters another.
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H. Jackson Browne
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.
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Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery He has not been broken in two by time he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul, but his life.
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Dr. Robert Schuller
Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time.
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Neil Postman
Because he did not have time to read every new book in his field, the great Polish anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski used a simple and efficient method of deciding which ones were worth his attention: Upon receiving a new book, he immediately checked the index to see if his name was cited, and how often. The more Malinowski the more compelling the book. No Malinowski, and he doubted the subject of the book was anthropology at all.
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Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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