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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Funny Quotes - 147
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Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of a man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.
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Thomas Carlyle
What we become depends on what we read after all of the professors have finished with us. The greatest university of all is a collection of books.
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Herbert Spencer
Science is organized knowledge.
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Jose Ortega y Gasset
Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.
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Zelda
Most people hew the battlements of life from compromise, erecting their impregnable keeps from judicious submissions, fabricating their philosophical drawbridges from emotional retractions and scalding marauders in the boiling oil of sour grapes.
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Abraham Lincoln
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
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Sir Thomas Beecham
Try everything once except incest and folk dancing.
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Frank Crane
You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.
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J. G. C. Brainard
Hate no one hate their vices, not themselves.
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Leona Helmsly
Only the little people pay taxes.
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Alfred Hitchcock
We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.
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Paul Fussell
The more violent the body contact of the sports you watch, the lower your class.
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