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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Funny Quotes - 144
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Thomas a Kempis
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible.
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Carl Schurz
Ideals are like stars you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny.
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Trevanian from the novel "Shibumi"
Melpomene was a substantial girl, thick of bosom, ankle, and forearm, rosy of cheek, and clear of eye. She seemed somehow incomplete without her hockey stick.
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Eugene McCarthy
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency.
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Epictetus
In every affair consider what precedes and what follows, and then undertake it.
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Art Buchwald
Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.'
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Michael Crichton
Absence of proof is not proof of absence.
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Fred Waggoner
Success is relevant to coping with obstacles... But no problem is ever solved by those, who, when they fail, look for someone to blame instead of something to do.
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Judge John Kane
The public interest is best served by the free exchange of ideas.
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John Masefield
In this life he laughs longest who laughs last.
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Evelyn Underhill
Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.
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Proverbs 3128
Her children arise up, and call her blessed.
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