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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 179

Patty Hansen, Prevention Magazine, 11-05

You create your opportunities by asking for them.


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Tryon Edwards

If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.


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Anonymous, Greensleeves

Alas my love you do me wrong, To cast me of discurteously; And I have loved you so long, Delighting in your company.


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Eric Hoffer

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.


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Edwin P. Whipple

In activity we must find our joy as well as glory; and labor, like everything else that is good, is its own reward


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Nadia Boulanger

Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of governmental power, not the increase of it.


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D. H. Lawrence

The mind can assert anything and pretend it has proved it. My beliefs I test on my body, on my intuitional consciousness, and when I get a response there, then I accept.


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James Lane Allen

You are today where your thoughts have brought you you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.


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Evan Esar

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.


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Anna Sewell, Black Beauty, 1877

We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words.


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John Russell

A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one.


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Author Unknown

A conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can.



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