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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Random Funny Quotes - 154

Hal

Whatever happened to that old-fashioned Grandpa If he still survives, he must be hiding in the small towns. You sure don't see him very often in the big city. The big-city Grandpa has gone big time. ... He is the life of every party, and out to prove he is just as young as he ever was. A grandchild who makes the mistake of calling him 'Gramps' is lucky if he isn't rewarded by a quick kick in the stomach.


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Elie Wiesel

I don't believe in accidents. There are only encounters in history. There are no accidents.


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Francois De La Rochefoucauld

We are more interested in making others believe we are happy than in trying to be happy ourselves.


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Joseph Joubert

Never cut what you can untie.


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Joseph Murphy

We go where our vision is.


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Jules Renard

We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but we know it and admit it.


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John Ervine

Every man ... should periodically be compelled to listen to opinions which are infuriating to him. To hear nothing but what is pleasing to one is to make a pillow of the mind.


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Fontenelle

A well cultivated mind is made up of all the minds of preceding ages; it is only the one single mind educated by all previous time.


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Unknown

Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.


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Brooks Atkinson

In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them.


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Gerald R. Ford

A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.


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Pythagoras

Rest satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.



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