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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Funny Quotes - 187
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Paul William Bear Bryant
If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.
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Baron Patrick Maynard Stuart Blackett
People who've had happy childhoods are wonderful, but they're bland... An unhappy childhood compels you to use your imagination to create a world in which you can be happy. Use your old grief. That's the gift you're given.
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Tennessee Williams
Security is a kind of death.
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Bertrand Russell
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
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Latin
Solutions- The first step toward a cure is to know what the disease is.
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Doctor Who
The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views...which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.
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Sir Francis Bacon
I have taken all knowledge to by my province.
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Henry David Thoreau
To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, not even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust.
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Cyril Connolly
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.
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Henry David Thoreau
If a man constantly aspires is he not elevated
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Confucius, The Confucian Analects
He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.
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Groucho Marx
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
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