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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Online Famous Quotations - 16
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John Morley
They are the guiding oracles which man has found out for himself in that great business of ours, of learning how to be, to do, to do without, and to depart.
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Willie Sutton
It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
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Martha Singleterry
Pain is a very precious gift. Do not waste it.
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Jane Howard
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
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Mahatma Gandhi
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House-with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.
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Unknown
Ideals are like stars. You will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But, like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides and following them you will reach your destiny.
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Art Linkletter
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
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Earl Nightingale
The man who succeeds above his fellows is the one who early in life clearly discerns his object, and towards that object habitually directs his powers.
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Muammar Qaddafi
The man who carried out the attack is still in power and still insane, so we shall expect another attack any minute. (On President Ronald Reagan)
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Queen Christina, of Sweden, 1629-1689
It is necessary to try to surpass oneself always; this occupation ought to last as long as life.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting
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