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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Online Famous Quotations - 101
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Napoleon Bonaparte
A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
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Philip Skelton
History makes us some amends for the shortness of life.
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Robin Green
I think it's them...Men. They have no fortitude. They're always dying or skedaddling off at the first sign of trouble. So tell me this, who is left to pick up the pieces, ship the body. clean out the closets Us And they have the audacity to call us the weaker sex.
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Gracie Allen
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
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Henry Louis Mencken
We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
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Bertrand Russell
One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're an ant, and you're walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.
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Carl Jung
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of being.
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Mark Twain
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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Ecclesiasticus
Have regard for your name, since it will remain for you longer than a great store of gold.
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William Shakespeare
Excellent wretch Perdition catch my soul, But I do love thee and when I love thee not, Chaos is come again.
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Alfred A. Montapert
What you have in your mind, your talents, your native abilities, no one can take from you. When you die you take them with you. Use them diligently while you are here.
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