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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 100
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(Anon.)
The Pilgrim Fathers landed on the shores of America and fell upon their knees. Then they fell upon the aborigines.
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Malcolm Forbes
Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.
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Phillips Brooks
The ideal life is in our blood and never will be still. Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing -- where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do.
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Alice Walker
How simple a thing it seems to me that to know ourselves as we are, we must know our mothers' names.
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W. E. B. Du Bois
Believe in life Always human beings will live and progress to greater, broader and fuller life.
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Vincent Van Gogh
Paintings have a life of their own that derives from the painter's soul.
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Benjamin Franklin
Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.
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Golden verses of the Pythagoreans
But respect yourself most of all.
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Jewish Proverb
The only truly dead are those who have been forgotten.
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Ovid
It's useful that there should be Gods, so let's believe there are.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just play it once or twice and then throw it away. Make him practice on it, every day, for about three hours a day. Later, he'll thank you.
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Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., speech to Democratic National Convention, Chicago, Illinois, July 21, 1952
Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.
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