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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Online Famous Quotations - 87
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Hellen Keller
Science may have found a cure for most evils but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.
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African Proverb
Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.
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Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist 22
Laws are a dead letter without courts to expound and define their true meaning and operation.
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Zig Ziglar
Success is dependent upon the glands--sweat glands.
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Alexis Sayle
Americans and British have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator,' we say 'lift' ... they say 'President,' we say 'stupid psychopathic git.'
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Abraham Lincoln
Hypocrite The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling rejected by the American people. I'm tired of waking up in the middle of the night worrying about the war.
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Ralph Kiner
The reason the Mets have played so well at Shea this year is they have the best home record in baseball.
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Unknown
Formal education will earn you a living, self-education make you a fortune.
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Henry Ford
An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
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Irving Cohen
Truth is shorter than fiction.
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Robert M. Hutchins
Education is not to reform students or amuse them or to make them expert technicians. It is to unsettle their minds, widen their horizons, inflame their intellects, teach them to think straight, if possible.
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