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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Online Famous Quotations - 56

Zig Ziglar

Push on, friend. You're just one exciting step from the banquet hall of life.


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Chinese Proverb

If you want 1 year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want 10 years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want 100 years of prosperity, grow people.


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Jerome K. Jerome

Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their own way, but we, poor mortals in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.


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Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail (1979)

We are a spectacular, splendid manifestation of life. We have language. . . . We have affection We have genes for usefulness, and usefulness is about as close to a common goal of nature as I can guess at. And finally, and perhaps best of all, we have music.


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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks.


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Isaac Goldberg

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.


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John Selden

Ignorance of the law excuses no man Not that all men know the law, but because 'tis an excuse every man will plead, and no man can tell how to refute him.


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Albert Einstein

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.


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David L Boren

Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch--what makes you go beyond the norm.


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Robert Burns

Look abroad through Nature's range, Nature's mighty law is change.


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Henry David Thoreau

There are now-a-days professors of philosophy but not philosophers.


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Meryl Streep

I have always regarded myself as the pillar of my life.



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