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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Online Famous Quotations - 57
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Henry Tuckerman
To impress others we must be earnest; to amuse them, it is only necessary to be kindly and fanciful.
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David Lee
You have to be deviant if you're going to do anything new.
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Daniel Webster
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.
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Horace
He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.
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Don DeLillo, White Noise
That which we fear to touch is often the fabric of our salvation.
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Max Cavalera
We sat outside the studio at night, among a few candles, and closed our eyes for a minute. After that, we jammed straight from our hearts. We didn't play for ourselves, but for the ones no longer with us in flesh, but always with us in spirit. God bless. Until we meet again. Soul fly... fly free
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George Will
Americans are overreachers overreaching is the most admirable of the many American excesses.
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Artemus Ward
I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
Beat a man with the strength of you argument, not with the strength of your arm.
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Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi, in Irving Good, The Scientist Speculates (1962)
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
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George Bernard Shaw, Major Barbara (1907) act 2
Alcohol is a very necessary article... It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
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Bruce Lee
Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless--like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash Be water my friend.
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