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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 60
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Albert Schweitzer
The spirit of the age is filled with the disdain for thinking.
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James Thomson
Absence, with all its pains, is, by this charming moment, wiped away.
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Ernest Dimnet
Touch the earth, love the earth, honour the earth, her plains, her valleys, her hills, and her seas; rest your spirit in her solitary places.
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William Blake 1803
O why was I born with a different face? Why was I not born like rest of my race?
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Albert Einstein
The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects.
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Marquis de Sade
I am about to put foward some major ideas they will be heard and pondered. If not all of them please, surely a few will in some sort, then, I shall have contributed to the progress of our age, and shall be content.
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George Bernard Shaw
Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
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Epicurus
In a philosophical dispute, he gains most who is defeated, since he learns most.
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Fawn M. Brodie
Richard Nixon lied to gain love, to shore up his grandiose fantasies, to bolster his ever-wavering sense of identity. He lied in attack, hoping to win and always he lied, and this most aggressively, to deny that he lied.
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Kahlil Gibran
They deem me mad for I will not sell my days for gold; I deem them mad for they think my days have a price.
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Henry David Thoreau
Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them.
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Thomas H. Huxley
It is an error to imagine that evolution signifies a constant tendency to increased perfection. That process undoubtedly involves a constant remodelling of the organism in adaptation to new conditions; but it depends on the nature of those conditions whether the directions of the modifications effected shall be upward or downward.
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