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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 50
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Trey and Matt Stone Parker
I just realized that there's going to be a lot of painful times in life, so I better learn to deal with it the right way.
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Frederick Douglas
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
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James Russell Lowell
Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.
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Anon.
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
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Robert Doisneau
Life is short. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly.
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Max Lucado
I guess grace doesn't have to be logical. If it did, it wouldn't be grace.
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Confucius
The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.
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George Bernard Shaw
All professions are conspiracies against the laity.
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George Washington
There is nothing that gives a man consequence, and renders him fit for command, like a support that renders him independent of everybody but the State he serves.
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Swami Sivanada
Life is short. Time is fleeting. Realize the Self. Purity of the heart is the gateway to God. Aspire. Renounce. Meditate. Be good do good. Be kind be compassionate. Inquire, know Thyself.
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Henry Miller
The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.
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Mark Twain
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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