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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Online Famous Quotations - 53
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
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Edith Nesbitt
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
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Oscar Wilde
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
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Sun-Tzu
All warfare is based on deception. There is no place where espionage is not used. Offer the enemy bait to lure him.
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Donald Trump
As long as you are going to think anyway, think big.
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Lyndon B. Johnson, address to the nation, November 28, 1963
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose.
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Joseph Schiedler, Director, Pro-Life Action League
I think contraception is disgusting - people using each other for pleasure.
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Samuel Smiles
Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I don't say that the bird is 'good' or the bat is 'bad.' But I will say this At least the bird is less nude.
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Thomas a Kempis
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.
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Samuel Johnson
Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
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Boris Pasternak
What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth: life always spills over the rim of every cup.
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