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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Online Famous Quotations - 24

Wystan Hugh Auden

The countenances of children, like those of animals, are masks, not faces, for they have not yet developed a significant profile of their own.


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Euripides

Judge a tree from its fruit not from the leaves.


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Carl Zwanzig

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together ...


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Henny Youngman

My wife is a light eater ... as soon as it's light, she starts to eat.


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Roger Zelazny

Life is full of doors that don't open when you knock, equally spaced amid those that open when you don't want them to.


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W. Somerset Maugham

To write simply is as difficult as to be good.


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Thomas Wolfe

If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know.


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Hubert Humphrey

In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.


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Edvard Munch

From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.


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Andy Warhol

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art of all.


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William Hazlitt, on the Pleasure of Hating

To display the greatest powers, unless they are applied to great purposes, makes nothing for the character of greatness.


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Albert Einstein

Emc (Energy equals mass times the square of the speed of light.) Original statement If a body gives off the energy L in the form of radiation, its mass diminshes by Lc.



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