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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 20
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Ivan Pavlov
Perfect as the wing of a bird may be, it will never enable the bird to fly if unsupported by the air. Facts are the air of science. Without them a man of science can never rise.
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Josef Stalin
The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count them decide everything.
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Casino
Ace The town will never be the same. After the Tangiers, the big corporations took it all over. Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport. And if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone. You get a whale show up with four million in a suitcase, and some twenty-five-year-old hotel school kid is gonna want his Social Security Number. After the Teamsters got knocked out of the box, the corporations tore down practically every one of the old casinos. And where did the money come from to rebuild the pyramids Junk bonds. But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. I could still pick winners, and I could still make money for all kinds of people back home. And why mess up a good thing
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Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891
I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex.
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Vince Lombardi
Once you agree upon the price you and your family must pay for success, it enables you to ignore the minor hurts, the opponent's pressure, and the temporary failures.
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Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is.
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"Swampman" on Quartz
The secret to life is that there is no secret.
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John Owen
No men can be lords of our faith, though they may be helpers of our joy.
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Horace
The appearance of right oft leads us wrong.
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Daniel Considine
To get the best out of a man go to what is best in him.
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Sydney Smith
There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which I think no one will object to; and that is, every now and then to be completely idle - to do nothing at all.
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Ronald Reagan
This administration is totally colorblind.
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