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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Online Famous Quotations - 198
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Lawrence Peter Berra
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
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L. M. Boyd
There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.
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Teddy Roosevelt
It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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Carl Sandburg
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
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Timothy Leary
Give death a better name or die trying.
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William Wordsworth
The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life.
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R. W. Plagge
Money mad. My wife says I spend money like a drunken sailor. Wonder what she'd say if I spent it like a sober congressman
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Quintilian
A liar should have a good memory.
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Author Unknown
Many of us have heard opportunity knocking at our door, but by the time we unhooked the chain, pushed back the bolt, turned two locks, and shuts off the burglar alarm - it was gone.
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Charles Caleb Colton
We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer tasting them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 3
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
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Albert Einstein
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
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