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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Online Famous Quotations - 194
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Sir Francis Bacon, "Of Death"
Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.
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Audrey Giorgi
Once in a while you have to take a break and visit yourself.
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Euripides
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
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Henry Ward Beecher
Doctrine is nothing but the skin of truth set up and stuffed.
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William Shakespeare, Hamlet
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.
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Melvin Maddocks
A man's work is his dilemma his job is his bondage, but it also gives him a fair share of his identity and keeps him from being a bystander in somebody else's world.
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Peter De Vries
The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.
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George Carlin
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
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Oscar Wilde
About foxhunting: The unspeakable chasing the uneatable.
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Billy Joel
You're not the only one who's made mistakes, but they're the only things that you can truly call your own.
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Douglas Adams
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
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William Shakespeare, "King Henry IV Part II", Act 2 scene 1
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
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