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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Online Famous Quotations - 107
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James T. Farrell
America is so vast that almost everything said about it is likely to be true, and the opposite is probably equally true.
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Karin Ireland
No one can give you authority. But if you act like you have it, others will believe you do.
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Latin Proverb
A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
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Ludwig Erhard
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.
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Marie de Rabutin-Chantal
True friendship is never serene.
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Thomas Sowell
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good.
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Henry James
Deep experience is never peaceful.
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Dag Hammarskjld
.....if you're driving down the highway in the middle of the night and you see a sign that says Bridge Out, pray for some intellectual understanding of that message, or you're going to have an experience you'll never forget
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
The big, huge meteor headed toward the Earth. Could nothing stop it Maybe Bob could. He was suddenly on top of the meteor---through some kind of space warp or something. 'Go, Bob, go' yelled one of the generals. 'Give me that' said the big-guy general as he took the microphone away. 'Listen, Bob,' he said. 'You've got to steer that meteor away from Earth.' 'Yes, but how' thought Bob. Then he got an idea. Right next to him there was a steering wheel sticking out of the meteor.
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Theodore Dreiser, quoting an unnamed newspaper editor
Life is a God-damned, stinking, treacherous game and nine hundred and ninety-nine men out of a thousand are bastards.
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Alice Thomas Ellis
There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters.
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Vaclav Havel
A human action becomes genuinely important when it springs from the soil of a clear-sighted awareness of the temporality and the ephemerality of everything human. It is only this awareness that can breathe any greatness into an action.
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