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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Online Famous Quotations - 165
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William Gurnall
What is Jordan that I should wash in it What is the preaching that I should attend on it, while I hear nothing but what I knew before What are these beggarly elements of water, bread, and wine Are not these the reasonings of a soul that forgets who appoints the means of grace
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Chuck, The World According to Chuck weblog, September 8, 2003
Calendars are for careful people, not passionate ones.
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Unknown
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
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Josh Traeger
The quickest way to reach the point of success is to follow a straight line that carves through failure.
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Anthony Trollope
Never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. People will take you very much at your own reckoning.
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John Mason Brown
He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
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Brian Adams
Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.
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Dame Rose Macaulay
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.
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Christina Petrowsky
Autumn is the bite of the harvest apple.
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Willa Cather
She used to drag her mattress besider her low window and lie awake for a long while, vibrating with excitement, as a machine vibrates from speed. Life rushed in upon her through that window - or so it seemed. In reality, of course, life rushes from within, not from without. There is no work of art so big or so beautiful that is was not once all contained in some youthful body, like this one which lay on the floor in the moonlight, pulsing with ardor and anticipation.
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Seneca
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show for any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
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