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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 3
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Lin Yutang
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.
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Weisert
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
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J. Krishnamurti
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
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Stephen Crane
A man said to the Universe: Sir, I exist! However, replied the Universe, the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Forbes Book of Business Quotations
Language is the armory of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests.
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Theodore Roosevelt
Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
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Damien Hess
Service... Giving what you don't have to give. Giving when you don't need to give. Giving because you want to give.
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Josiah Stamp, Attibuted to Sir Josiah Stamp (1849 - 1941) HM Collector of Inland Revenue.
The government (is) extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, however, is that in every case, the figures are first put down by a village watchman, and he puts down anything he damn well pleases.
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Rudyard Kipling
I always prefer to believe the best of everybody - it saves so much trouble.
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P. G. Wodehouse
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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California Civil Code, "Maxims of Jurisprudence"
That which ought to have been done is to be regarded as done.
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Abraham Lincoln
Those who would deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, cannot long retain it.
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