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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Online Famous Quotations - 105
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Horace
If you wish me to weep, you must mourn first yourself.
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Elbert Hubbard
A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.
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Nick Seitz
The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition.
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Ralph Nader, The Pacific Sun, March 21, 1981
Ronald Reagan is the most ignorant president since Warren Harding.
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J. Paul Getty
The meek shall inherit the Earth, but not its mineral rights.
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Benjamin Jowett
You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say.
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Mother Teresa
If you find serenity and happiness, some people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
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Thomas Morell
See the conquering hero comes Sound the trumpets, beat the drums
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E. W. Dijkstra
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
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Louisa May Alcot
Far away there in the sunshine are my brightest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.
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Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy
Consider your origin; you were not born to live like brutes, but to follow virtue and knowledge.
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Joseph Campbell
What each must seek in his own life never was on land or sea. It is something that never has been and never could have been experienced by anyone else.
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