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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 190
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Kahlil Gibran
A poet is a bird of unearthly excellence, who escapes from his celestial realm arrives in this world warbling. If we do not cherish him, he spreads his wings and flies back into his homeland.
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John Andrew Holmes
There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.
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Caesar Augustus, from Plutarch, Apothegms
Young men, hear an old man to whom old men hearkened when he was young.
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Steven Wright, I Have a Pony
My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed.
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Garth Henrichs
One does not make friends. One recognizes them.
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Samuel Butler
Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often.
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Unknown
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
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Rita Rudner
I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Danish proverb
Every person is a fool in somebody's opinion.
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Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy
Through me you pass into the city of woe: Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.
Justice the founder of my fabric moved:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.
Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I shall endure.
All hope abandon, ye who enter here.
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The Hitopadesa
On the touchstone of misfortune a man discovers the strength of understanding and of spirit in kinsmen, wife, servants, and himself.
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Timothy Leary
Turn on, tune in and drop out.
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