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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Online Famous Quotations - 113
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Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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Hazrat Ali Ibn-e-Abi Talib, Nahj-ul-Balagha (Sermons and sayings Compilation)
Be generous but not extravagant, be frugal but not miserly.
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Lou Holtz
You're never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you're never as bad as they say when you lose.
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Jim Morrison
Some people surrender their freedom willingly but others are forced to surrender it. Imprisonment begins with birth. Society, parents they refuse to allow you to keep the freedom you were born with. There are subtle ways to punish a person for daring to feel. You see that everyone around you has destroyed his true feeling nature. You imitate what you see.
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J. F. Boyse
If, in instructing a child, you are vexed with it for want of adroitness, try, if you have never tried before, to write with your left hand, and then remember that a child is all left hand.
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Ronald Reagan
America's view of apartheid is simple and straightforward We believe it is wrong. We condemn it. And we are united in hoping for the day when apartheid will be no more.
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Franklin P. Adams
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel.
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Henry Ford
Reading musses up my mind.
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Leo Durocher
If I were playing third base and my mother were rounding third with the run that was going to beat us, I'd trip her. Oh, I'd pick her up and brush her off and say, 'Sorry, Mom, but nobody beats me.'
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William Blake
What is now proved was once only imagined.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
The angels are so enamoured of the language that is spoken in heaven, that they will not distort their lips with the hissing and unmusical dialects of men, but speak their own, whether there be any who understand it or not.
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Omar Khayym
We are no other than a moving row Of Magic Shadow-shapes that come and go Round with the Sun-illumined Lantern held In Midnight by the Master of the Show.
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